The legendary comic Spike Milligan was born on this day in 1918 in India. As a tribute to one of the world’s funniest men, we present 10 of his best quotes
The archetypal tortured genius, Spike Milligan, remains one of Britain’s best-loved comics, largely known for his British comedy radio programme, The Goon Show, also starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Michael Bentine – a show which changed the face of British comedy. Here we pay tribute to Milligan’s talent with a selection of some of his funniest one-liners.
“I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.”
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“Money couldn’t buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.”
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“My father had a profound influence on me – he was a lunatic.”
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“I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge.”
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“And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.”
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“Apéritif: French for a set of dentures.”
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“After five days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.”
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“Always try to make other people happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it.”
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“I told you I was ill.” (His epitaph).
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“Listen, someone’s screaming in agony – fortunately I speak it fluently.”
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